Random idea to develop

Been thinking .. yeah, it happens, sometimes ..

There is so much in this world that you cannot change (at least directly). Most "normal" people don't want to change what is beyond their reach - like the Moon orbiting around the Earth, or racists in South Africa while you live in Europe. But almost every person has a desire to have a influence in the environment around, and especially in the people. Well, it's a very broad subject.

To be more precise, you cannot have a direct and blunt influence on others. You have to respect what every person decides for herself, whether you agree with them or not.

So what would be a winning strategy ? Don't really know ... but focusing on someone's else flaw or mistake seams to be a sure losing strategy. You just have too little influence and the required effort is to draining, while you also might be missing some essential points. Of course, there are exceptions, different ways to look at it (you might sincerely want to help that person), special cases, but I'm only looking for a very general empirical theory :D.

So .. the only logical alternative I see is to focus on what you can change about yourself. Your mistakes, your flaws and shortcomings. Helping others grow (in case this is on your agenda) should be somehow indirect from that, or a side-effect. This is of course obvious and everybody applied it .. but only now I'm becoming truly aware of it. And it's a very constructive feeling, it has nothing to do with whining all day long.